Welcome to your first thirty days of sobriety!

A recent relapse has caused me to relive those thirty days, so I know exactly what you’re going through. However, I can attest to the fact that it becomes manageable. It’s like a death in a sense, it gets easier and easier as a year then two, then three go by, but I don’t think it ever goes away.

The first thirty days of sobriety are of course the hardest. Fear, anxiety, and uncertainty are sure to set in along with feelings of guilt, seclusion, and depression. This will happen; it’s a loss, just like any other and it will feel bleak and hopeless for a while. Isolation can set in, and I believe it’s perfectly normal, but don’t let it continue for more than a few weeks without seeking help.

The first step in your first thirty days is to detoxify your body. Now, any heavy alcohol abuser will experience a detox which can last from one to seven days depending on the amount you were consuming. You should drink plenty of water and grab some multivitamins. Nutrition and rest are essential for returning your body to health. In any case, for severe withdrawal, I would never recommend doing it on your own. A medical detox at a local hospital is where you should be. Some alcoholics can suffer seizures or extreme hallucinations, and in some cases quitting cold turkey can be physically dangerous and even life threatening. There is medication in the hospital they can give you to lessen the suffering of withdrawal such as Librium, Valium, or Tranxene.

You must keep in mind that you are NOT abstaining from alcoholic drinks to punish yourself; you are frankly doing it to save your life.

Next, you must decide exactly what remedy is for you.
People have gotten sober without inpatient treatment before, so if you are doing this on your own, there are prescriptions you can take to try and ease the obstacles to sobriety.

Acamprosate (Campral) - An anti-craving drug. I have tried it and had fairly good results in lessening my cravings.

Disulfiram (Antabuse) – This can be a deterrent for you, although not an anti-craving medication, if you drink alcohol, the drug produces a severe physical reaction. Typical symptoms’ include vomiting, accelerated heart rate, throbbing headache, shortness of breath, mental confusion, fainting and even circulatory collapse. You must have great ambition to not drink in order for the medicine to be safe for you to take.

Naltrexone - A shot once a month can significantly reduce the rate of heavy drinking in patients with alcohol dependence. I have yet to try this, but hear that it works well, yet very expensive.

Now you don’t necessarily have to go to Alcoholics Anonymous, but in my experience you need at least one person in your life that is in recovery. It’s not that misery loves company, but misery understands misery. I have found this extremely useful in the past. Someone to talk to that actually “gets it”. On that same note, you may have to lose friends, people you’re going to have to stay away from because they are heavy drinker themselves. A lot of pain arises in this, so surround yourself with as many recovering alcoholics you can find.

I’m a firm believer that positive thinking is the only way to fight for your sobriety. Focus on things you are grateful for. Maybe five things you can take comfort in, but think of them often.

It is wise to read as much as possible on the subject of alcoholism and recovery, because as cliché as it is….knowledge truly is power. You want to make it this time, because alcohol has too many damaging effects from long term binge drinking. From my experience some of that damage, even after a couple of years of sobriety, is permanent. My brain just doesn’t work like it used to.

Keep in mind while you’re battling your addiction of the long-term effects of chronic heavy alcohol consumption. It’s time to scare yourself straight. It impairs brain development, and can causes brain shrinkage. It increases neuropsychiatric and cognitive disorders and causes distortion of your brain chemistry. Alcoholism is associated with possible development of major depressive disorder and a number of other mental health disorders. You can develop serious gastrointestinal, liver, and cardiovascular destruction. Bone loss and higher risk of cancer are also factors.

The sad truth is each year about 100,000 Americans die of alcohol-related causes. Alcohol is also a factor in nearly half of ALL traffic deaths, and approximately 30% of all suicides. You don’t want to be a statistic, and neither do I.

WOMEN - It is proven that women are more susceptible than men to a variety of the medical consequences of heavy alcohol use. Alcoholic women develop cirrhosis, nerve or heart muscle damage after fewer years of heavy drinking than do men

Remember to reward yourself as time goes on!. The money you spent on liquor should be used to spoil yourself to something! Remember life’s simple pleasures and things you have lost sight of.

In closing, here are some quotes and book recommendations that have comforted me in my struggles.

“The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it.”- Epicurus

“I believe, if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice.” -Abraham Lincoln

The following are quotes from a motivational author of self-help and new thought books. Her name is Louise Hay and she has authored two books that I would highly recommend - “You Can Heal Your Life”, and “The Power Is Within You”.

“Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the main keys to positive changes in every area of our lives.”

“You are the power in your world! You get to have whatever you choose to think!”

“The point of power is always in the present moment.”

“Every thought we think is creating our future.”

There is a book by The Dalai Lama, called “The Art of Happiness”, which I also highly recommend. Here are some quotes of his I like:

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”

“It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come.”

“So many of the problems and troubles we run into are created by our mistaking for permanent that which is actually impermanent.”

written by The Alcoholic Blogger \\ tags: 30 days, alcohol abuse, alcohol deaths each year, alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, alcoholism, Antabuse, binge drinking, brain chemistry, Campral, cirrhosis, dalai lama, depression, detox, disease, drunk, find rehab, guilt, how do I get sober, how to get sober, inpatient, liquor, Louise Hay, mental disorders, Naltrexone, positive thinking, recovery, relapse, sobriety, thirty days, treatment, withdrawal

Yep, good old Amy Winehouse!

Well YES, I am going to rehab, even though I feel I can teach some of the classes there, since I’ve been to treatment so many times. My longest sobriety came from me wanting it more than anything I’d ever wanted in the world. And I did it on my own and for a couple years It lasted bountifully. Then I threw it all down the drain when I relapsed.

I am insane. In fact it was Albert Einstein who defined the word insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Quicksand has one again surrounded me in all directions.

Anyone who has followed me knows that I am NOT a fan of Alcoholics Anonymous, However, there are parts of the Big Book that have really gotten to me and Bill W. was quite a man. My favorite quote of his is also my biggest dilemma.

“The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.”

It haunts me to think that I might have these thoughts 20 years from now. And I do believe that if a hell exists, it’s here on earth because I have been there, and am back there now.

A few weeks ago, I would have fought tooth and nail to not enter treatment again, but
my depression had worsened, and I lack the coping skills to deal with my alcoholism alone at this point.

My mission is to be sober again. That’s why I am choosing to go back to rehab. You learn something new everyday, and I don’t doubt I will during the course of the next four months I have disrupted my brain chemistry once more by choosing to drink again, and I know it takes time to heal that damage.

For me It’s time for peace, it’s time for reflection, and time to move forward to a higher quality of life. This will be my retreat. I know I am strong enough to fight. I have a thirst for returning to good health, and a desire to be free again. I will step into those treatment center doors a broken and wounded person, but I have ambition and confidence on my side, and I shall walk out of those doors flourishing.

Wish me luck, the only thing I am waiting on is an extension to my medical insurance to be able to pay for the long term care.

I will keep in touch until I leave.

“Just like moons and like suns, with the certainty of tides

–Maya Angelou

written by The Alcoholic Blogger \\ tags: addiction, alcohol abuse, alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, alcoholism, big book, Bill W, depression, detox, help, inpatient, recovery, rehab, relapse, sober, sobriety, treatment

I’ve been in the hospital, will blog later….

Just wanted everyone to remember:

Nobody chooses to be an alcoholic.

written by The Alcoholic Blogger

This is part three of three from the series The Eyes of Nye, with guest Dr. Drew.

written by The Alcoholic Blogger \\ tags: alcoholic, alcoholism, brain, cocaine, crack, disease, Dr Drew, drug abuse, drug addiction, meth, recovery, relapse, sobriety, treatment, triggers, using dreams, withdrawal

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy that uses the idea that your own thoughts and beliefs can lead to your negative moods. The idea is to change a patient’s pattern of thinking and thereby change the way the patient feels and acts.

Studies have shown that CBT therapies can effectively treat depression, anxiety disorders, phobias, and have also been shown to be beneficial in treating alcoholism and drug addiction. This works especially well as a part of an overall program of recovery. The approach used in cognitive behavioral therapy some suggest, may be better than alcoholics anonymous or narcotics anonymous for people with severe alcoholism or addiction.

CBT combines several ways to help you change how you think:

• You learn to recognize irrational thoughts.
  
• You can learn how to stop this type pf thinking.
  
• You can learn to relax your mind and body, lowering your stress levels.
• You learn to replace your negative thoughts with more positive thoughts.

This is where positive thinking comes in. Positive thinking is a mental attitude where you expect and assume with conviction what it is you want to achieve and feel. A positive mind can already anticipate happiness, joy, and health.

Optimism, and positive thinking are now known to be a root cause of positive life benefits. You’ll live longer and be healthier and happier with a optimistic attitude toward life. You can use the power of thinking positive, and affirmations to gain important life rewards.

Affirmations do play a big part in this. Affirmations are statements we repeat to ourselves daily that affect what we think and believe about ourselves. It may seem silly at first, but some of the most successful and intelligent people around practice these affirmations. They sometimes write their affirmation on sticky notes, and quite often tape them to the bathroom mirror.

Remember, you are what you think, therefore any negative thought you let yourself believe can be quite damaging.

Begin to create statements for yourself that are constructive, for example:

“I now choose thoughts that nourish and support me in a loving and positive way.”

“I choose love,  joy,  freedom, and open my heart and allow wonderful things to flow into my life.”

REMEMBER…When you have control over your thoughts, you have control over your life!!

I have tried, and will continue to try old and new ideas to help control my alcoholism, and mental issues that come with it. Please help me in my mission to become healthier and help all alcoholics and drug addicts have the opportunity to do the same.

As always… shoot me an email if you’d like : alcoholicblogger@yahoo.com

written by The Alcoholic Blogger \\ tags: addict, affirmations, alcoholic, alcoholism, cognitive behavioral therapy, Louise Hay, positive thinking, You can heal your life

THE FUNNY OF THE DAY….

I don’t know if you’ve seen the show, with Howie Mandell called Howie Do It, but I just happened to catch this video from the show.

A guy is trying to get a part on a soap opera, but what lengths will he go through when unknown to him, he’ll be dong a love seen with and 87 year old lady!

It’s a hidden camera show…

Good Times

Check it out on Veho

written by The Alcoholic Blogger \\ tags: 87 year old lady kiss, hidden camera, howie do it, Howie mandell, soap opera

Yes, you absolutely can win your social security disability appeal without the assistance of a lawyer. I represented myself at my hearing, and I won my case. It wasn’t an easy case either, since I was only 27 when I applied.

I’m going to share with you my experience and advice on how to prepare and act as your own lawyer. Besides, your attorney is entitled to about 25% of your back payment, and he gets paid even before you see your first check. Many of us have incurred significant debts during the lengthy process of waiting for a hearing. We deserve to win, and benefit ourselves and family with the money acquired.

Don’t be intimidated, anxious, or fearful over the appeal hearing. The courtroom is small and somewhat informal. At the most, there will be three people attending this hearing with you. An Administrative Law Judge (ALJ) will be present, the judge’s clerk, who will record the hearing,and on occasion there is a vocational specialist present as well. If so. he/she will ask you a few questions about why you can’t participate in any kind of work.

Your very first step when learning of your scheduled hearing date is to begin gathering medical record updates. You can send these in to the hearing office, or bring them with you to offer as exhibits. You should have your current medications with you, and a list of any prescription meds that have failed to improve your condition.

Next, you want to prepare a written statement that you will actually print and read aloud to the Judge. This is a necessity, there is no time to forget any detail of your affliction . I basically wrote a narrative of how my disability began, and how it had deteriorated since the original date of my application for benefits.

You should mention any programs, support groups, or therapy you are involved in. You want to address how your life is affected by your disability. My statement was packed with everything I could think of telling the judge. What my limits are throughout a regular day in my home, and the challenges and pain I have suffered during the duration of my illness. Make sure to mention descriptively how you are too impaired or incapable to hold down a job.

Remember that most of us who are unwell have trouble with insomnia, so be sure to mention that, since sleeplessness is typically followed by functional impairment while awake.

When you are finished with your opening statement, you want to work on getting a few written statements from family or friends. These people can attest to your difficulties and especially your home and work limitations. You can bring a witness if you’d like. Maybe a parent, sibling, or spouse can come give testimony regarding your symptoms and daily difficulties.

Another good idea would be a letter from a former employer who can support your claim and explain your complications with job performance.

You will be best prepared if you can get your medical doctor, or psychiatrist to describe in detail the nature of your disability and the restrictions on your daily life. A doctor’s report carries more weight if your doctor knows you well, and you have discussed your disability in depth. Even if your Dr. has written a letter before, have them update and write a new one.

Remember, to prove your disability you must convince a judge that there are absolutely no suitable employment opportunities for you. They will look at all of the evidence you have and determine what you might still be able to do, despite your limitations. You must persuade him/her that you are failing at daily functioning. For example, getting dressed, doing chores, social functioning, concentration, memory, sleeplessness, pain, medicinal side affects, or whatever else might afflict you.

My statement was presented so precise and detailed, that the judge didn’t have many questions to ask that I hadn’t already answered for him. Remember Administrative Law judges sometimes see 5 or 6 cases a day. They know honesty when they see it. Just state the truth. If you are truly disabled, and are physically or mentally incapable, you can establish this without an attorney.

In my case I had to wait for a written decision by mail, which takes somewhere between 30-60 days.

APPROVED.

A good friend of mine just had his hearing, and by following some of my advice and insight on the process, he was also approved without a lawyer, and on that very same day as the hearing.

I found the whole process much simpler that I’d anticipated, but if you believe you need a lawyer, be my guest, but I sincerely believe it is not in anyway necessary.

Please be advised that I live in the state of Colorado, so I can only indicate how the appeals process worked for me and my friend. Although, with all the research I have done, these hearings seem to be the same in any state.

Good luck, and never give up hope. You are entitled to social security disability. SSDI is not a welfare program. SSDI is a social insurance program, and as long as you have worked and paid into the system, you are just as entitled as anyone else.

written by The Alcoholic Blogger \\ tags: appeal, disablity, How To Win Your Social Security Disability Appeal Without A Lawyer, social security, ssdi, ssi, without lawyer

A few months back, after over two years sobriety, I took a drink. Actually, let me clarify, I took a few drinks. This was a one day experience. I drank, suffered the disappointment from family members, and immediately felt the mental anguish that comes from making such a detrimental mistake.

So did I relapse, or lapse? Did I need to start counting my days all over again? Were those two years of sobriety completely ruined?

A lapse, by definition, is a slip or temporary decline. A relapse takes you back into a former state of deterioration. I didn’t plan to continue drinking whatsoever. And I couldn’t take the emotional roller-coaster I’d have been on if I let the guilt and self-hatred overwhelm me. I was going to convince myself, and rightfully so, that I had made a really bad error in judgment. An error that didn’t need to take me back into the depths of hell. I’d be doing myself an injustice by letting this one day crush every real change I had made in my commitment to sobriety.

I came to the conclusion that it was in my best interest to NOT stop counting at those two years. Because in those two years, I fought tooth and nail to change everything about my lifestyle, environment, and thought process. I deserve to hold on tightly and keep that milestone in my life. To me, it is not only a significant day because I stopped drinking, it also marks the day that I took control back over my addiction.

I have not had a drink since, and I fully intend to keep it that way.

written by The Alcoholic Blogger \\ tags: addiction, alcoholism, lapse, relapse, sober days, sobriety

Well, at least that’s what I’ve heard them called. It should be “using nightmares”, and it applies to recovering alcoholics, and drug addicts. I have two types of these experiences.

1) The Chase - I am dreaming of everyday life, but I am spending hours and days, every moment trying to buy some alcohol. Hunting for it, and then hiding it from everyone around me. Anticipating how it will make me feel. I never get a chance to crack the bottle though, and I awaken feeling shaky and discouraged that I still want something so harmful.

2) The Fall - This is when I chase, but I actually get to open the bottle this time. I drink until my hearts content.  I enjoy it, and waking up makes me feel as though I have broken my sobriety. I can taste the liquor in my mouth and it makes me nauseous.

These nightmares come and go, just like triggers come and go in addiction.

Hell, I still can’t open a twist bottle without thinking about the thirst I have for cheap vodka.

written by The Alcoholic Blogger \\ tags: addiction, alcohol dreams, alcoholism, nightmares, triggers, using dreams

Notice anything different?   Well…  somehow my entire blog was erased. 12+ months of posts GONE.   I tried everything possible to try and recover at least some of the posts.   I had burned a DVD of the site about 5 months ago but it is nowhere to be found.

I hold out hope that I will find it. (cross fingers!) For now it looks like I am starting fresh.   Wouldn’t be the first time I had to start over..  ;)

That’s it for now.   I need to work on some backend stuff and maybe load a new blog template.

Keep your heads up!

ps… Palin / Biden debate tonight.  It’s going to be a good one!

written by The Alcoholic Blogger